Friday, February 10, 2012

A Less Beautiful Post about Lane Etiquette

Having recently addressed the unspoken rules of the locker room, it is now officially time to tackle the fundamentals of swimming with other people (again all in good fun, though this is a tad more serious I have to admit). Sure, I get it, some of you assume there are no rules - that swimming with others is just like lap swimming alone, except that there's someone next to you whom you can count on to remember the set. No bueno. There are rules (at least according to me). And you should know them. Here are six of them. I think there are many, many more so leave a comment with what I've forgotten!

1. Brush your teeth before practice. Duh.

2. Don't swim up on the person in front of you, especially if it's me. If you want to swim faster than me, go before me. If you want to swim behind me, stay far enough behind me so that you aren't drafting off of me, and more importantly, so that you NEVER EVER touch my toes. If you do, I will probably kick you.

3. Please avoid pushing off the wall directly into the center of the lane. Seriously, it's messed up that I even have to say this, but I do.

4. Do not pull on the lane lines unless you are a 6 and under swimmer. I don't think any of us fall in that category.

5. Let's say the set is an IM set, but you say "fuck it I'm doing freestyle". Great. But do not do either of the following: A) lead and change the interval because there is too much rest for a free set (it's not a free set FYI), or B) slot yourself in and run up on my toes because you are going faster (freestyle is faster than IM FYI). See #2 above.

6. Here comes my favorite etiquette breach. If you choose not to listen to the set, or jump in late, do NOT repeatedly ask me what we are doing. Put your head down and follow and eventually I'll fill you in. But if I've just worked my ass off on repeat 200's and have 10 seconds of rest between and you ask me to recount the entire set during the few seconds I have for oxygen, I will ignore you.

As for today's set (which I happened to listen to, and have a hard time grasping - so yah, I get it, sometimes you have to ask):

5 x 150's - free, stroke alternate by swim

*add fins for:
100 flutter kick
75 dolphin kick
50 fast kick
25 underwater
Repeat 3x

*add pull gear for:
50 DPS, 50 breath control
100 fast
75 DPS, 75 breath control
150 fast
100 DPS, 75 breath control
200 fast

*go naked for:
10 x 75's
1, 5, 10 stroke
#9 all out sprint

100 easy.


Clara said...

Another Lane 2 favorite: When using paddles, select reasonable size (not garbage can lids) and remember they are lethal weapons - the rest of us would like the continued use of our limbs outside of the pool :)

tulsi said...

wao very impressive blog.i have search it through yahoo.its very amazing.i have online toys store for your kids.c u again